My Hate for Marshmallow Peeps

Once a upon a time, in a far far land called Tinley Park, a local Plumber's son threw his Easter Marshmallow Peeps on the floor after deciding he didn't want them anymore. The stickiness of the peeps completely aggravated him. They taste like crap, they don't do anything, and his son doesn't even want to play with them, "What does one do with a Peep?" asked the Plumber. After short research the Plumber realized that Peeps aren't good for anything, he decided to get rid of them.

He first tried to throw them down the sink:

Since the sink drain was too small, he went for something bigger, the tub. "Surely, the tub drain will work" said, the Plumber. 

The tubs drain failed the Peeps big time. The toilet always works for everything people flush down. "We get calls for kids toys all the time. Toys, keys, phones, clothing objects, chicken bones, and gold fish. Marshmallow Peeps should be a piece of cake." said the Plumber. Without hesitating the Plumber threw the Peeps down the toilet. 

What do I have to do to get these Peeps to just disappear? "I'm guessing they are ducks or bird like things, if I set them free they will go away" thought the Plumber. Frustrated with the Peeps, the Plumber packed the Peeps bags and took them for a little stroll down to the pond. 

The Plumber threw the Peeps in the pond and wished them well. "Have a nice life" said the Plumber, as he walked away. 

The Plumber happily went back to working, he had already wasted enough time trying to get rid of the Peeps, but was glad he finally set them where they belonged. Some time later, the Plumber walked past the pond and noticed the Peeps weren't in the water. They were perched above the pond, soaking in all the sun. He didn't understand, "How could the Peeps emerge from the water?" asked the Plumber.  

The Plumber couldn't take it anymore. He was angry. He didn't want anything to do with these Peeps. The Plumber threw the Peeps in the fire pit and set it on fire. 

"Yesss" yelled the Plumber. Finally, the Peeps gave up and melted away. The Plumber should have felt defeat over his victory, but all he felt was remorse. "What did the Peeps ever do to me?" said the Plumber. "It's not their fault they taste bad, are sticky, and plain useless". The Plumber ran to the store to purchase a box of Marshmallow Peeps, but they were sold out. Heartbroken, the Plumber promised to never take advantage of a Peep again. 

**No one was hurt during the process of this article, besides a Plumbers heart**